By Jordan Bates at Shine.
We want everyone to like us, but we shouldn’t.
As social creatures, we are concerned, often to a fault, with whether or not we are enjoyed, appreciated, and respected by those around us. We pander to the whims of others, hoping to please everyone (or at least find few enemies). We try to behave affably, make the correct remark, and laugh at the appropriate times, all for the sake of winning the fancy of our company.
The approval of others becomes a top social priority and dictates many of our actions. At some point or another, most of us succumb to this tendency to butter the rest of mankind’s bread, which is fine. It’s natural to do so. But, we must exercise caution. You see, investing ourselves too fully into how others perceive us can have terrible consequences.
People who frequently seek the attention and praise of others are looking for an external validation of themselves. They want something outside of them to deem them worthy, able, and good. Usually, this is because, at their core, they are filled with self-doubt. So they do what they can to increase positive feedback and eliminate negative feedback.
But here’s the problem with this way of thinking: When we act in such a way that eliminates negative criticism, we also eliminate many, many possible lifestyles, actions, and directions from our realm of possibility. We become slaves to that which we believe others will approve.
This is a tragedy! Within all of us, there are numerous things we really, deeply wish we could do — travel the Earth, start a business, build an Earth ship, become a stand-up comic/vagabond, etc. etc. But the vast majority of us don’t do these things because we’re worried about what others will say or think. We end up sacrificing our selves and our dreams to try to appease those around us.
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